SELF INFLICTED SABOTAGE, A GUN SHOT TO THE HEAD

Quite a sobering title for this weeks self deprecating diatribe. Challenges and pressures in life come at us from every direction. Sometimes we plow through and sometimes we’re stopped in our tracks in need of re-grouping. Sometimes we see ourselves as loyal subjects prepared to do battle but in reality we are far from that. Our subconscious tells us we’re not worthy and we sabotage ourselves even though we have the tools for success hand and the ability to command an audience with the king. Do I not deserve success? Do you not deserve success?

I attended a class several evenings back and came out feeling rough like an expired can of store bought chili that suddenly finds itself in the midst of a 5 star chef chili cook-off in the southwest (where Chili should be king no less)! I had died with my boots on. It was as though I’d had open heart surgery without a doctor. Ouch! I then proceeded to further add to the bruising and beat myself up on the way home and the rest of the evening before bed as well as the following day. I awoke the next morning with a sabotage hangover from the previous evenings fight and subsequent destructive behavior. There was and/or is no one else to blame but me, myself and I.

You see I hadn’t put in the time necessary for my once pristine memory to absorb the dialogue and digest (that is analyze) the subsequent objectives, moments before, secrets and so on amidst the pages of dialogue before me. Somewhere, somehow I’d allowed halitosis of the spirit aura to flush away the golden light we all have access to. In plain English I crashed and burned. You could say my flight missed the runway. You see I didn’t do the work, spend enough time on it, really immerse my body, mind and soul in it cause I didn’t think I had too for the desired results but here’s the kicker, I convinced my subconscious I had. Sly huh…

I put this out in the universe in hopes that someone reading this blog will not fall into the very same pit I allowed myself to slip into and then wallow in, not for one second. My life journey with all its’ twists and turns has the potential to deliver priceless growth. All of us have such potential and it befriends or confronts us everyday, depending upon our outlook on our constantly unfolding life experience. As performers we are for the most part sensitive creatures that all too often go through our day wearing many layers of armor just so we can attempt to appear like we’re not wearing any. I’d better go put my study hat on and get to work…I ain’t goin’ down again, at least not without a fight…


TAKING COMMAND WITH A SURGICAL STRIKE, CREATIVELY

Additionally should we not also consider the possibility that maybe our creative receptors are clogged from time to time and a rejuvenated mind might give rise to deeds of perfection?

I awoke this morning with a call to arms ringing in my head, amass the Teddy Bear army and ready them for battle! As Supreme Commander of the magical realm my mind stands at the ready on the edge of a vast alternative reality as far as one’s imaginative radar extends. I thought soon I shall command loyal legions of a stuffed menagerie, my stuffed menagerie, loyal legions that responded in turn with a resounding silence. They can not talk. But first I must arm these battalions of the battle hardened so their dance on the edge of darkness will be devastating for all who stand in their path. What powers shall we deliver unto them? Take your place atop The Suitcase Throne, center of the garage universe, where decisions of merit are made and orders carried out. If life were only that simple…However, on screen we can make it appear that way. Its’ called film making and the demand for content is on the rise as the small screen begins to take hold of a market in turmoil.

Study and create. Do the work before it does you. Get back on your feet and never leave yourself for dead while there is still a creative breath to be had. O.k. so now that I’m out of my head let’s go to work!